Sunday, May 3, 2009

Shakers and Snorers and Wrestlers, Oh My!




Have you ever tried sleeping with a snorer with restless legs syndrome who dreams about wrestling cows and crocs?




If you think that sounds like fun, let me introduce you to my husband.




He twitches and jerks and jumps and flails his arms and legs around like Joe Cocker doing the twist.




When I think he's settling down, I stop bracing myself for the next elbow jab and allow myself to relax and prepare to drift off to sleep.... and then begins the next phase - Apocalypse Now. The helicopters rev up their motors and start rotating their blades, cue the music:








Run villager, run!! There's no escape! You try to hide in another room, but even 2 rooms away, the sound is deafening!






I surrender and retire to the living room for an hour or two, until I can't hear the loud roars for a period of time. I gently sneak back into my side of the bed, and try to stop bracing myself for the next onslaught...but then, the Crocodile Hunter decides to pay a nightime visit and suddenly I'm being kicked at and bounced around until I finally have to shake-him-to-wake-him, and let him know it's his wife, not a crocodile or cow or whatever he's been wrestling and subduing.
This is definitely the "for worse" part!